For those of you that don't know, Valentine's Day is basically the celebration of a bloody organ... literally.
Saint Valentine, an early Christian martyr, was extremely heartbroken after being rejected by his mistress. He decided it would be fabulous if he took a knife to his chest and sent her his still-beating HEART. This was supposed to represent his undying love for her.
Hence, heart-shaped cards and such are still sent to represent his overwhelming passion and SUFFERING.
OK, AWESOME. Granted, that is only one of two theories about the holiday. [But I like it better.]
Whether or not we are actually symbolizing Saint Valentine's boxed, bloody, beating heart-- we still send enough cards for the U.S. Greeting Card Association to name Valentine's Day one of the largest card-sending holidays of the year [second only to CHRISTMAS!?].
The U.S. greeting card estimates that about one BILLION valentines are sent worldwide each year. They also estimate that WOMEN send 85% of those valentines. That is an obvious percentage though, isn't it? I mean, women are WAY more into Valentine's Day than men, aren't they?
The flower and jewelry industries also make INSANE profits from this holiday. And not to mention the electronic internet greeting card industry!
Okay so maybe just a little part of my dislike for Valentine's Day stems from bitterness. =/
But that bitterness does not stem from my recent breakup. No, no, no. My Valentine's Day bitterness stems from the fact that I haven't had a good one since elementary school. You know, back when your mom bought you a cardboard box-full of Valentine's Day cards with your favorite character on them. You signed your name and passed them out to everyone in your class--even your teacher. Maybe you even decorated a shoe box with a hole in the top with lacey paper and stickers for kids to put yours in. I know the last time my class did that was 4th or 5th grade.
I remember middle school Valentine's Days as awkward-- kind of like "well I'm not passing cards out to the class anymore so who do I want to give them to?"
In 7th grade I was given a Valentine crafted from Crayola markers and construction paper from one of the students I T.A'd for in the special education class. How sweet, right? NO! He also asked to see my boobs [like I had anything other than a rib cage at that time!]. He was also suspended.
The next year, I had this pathetic excuse of a "boyfriend" who was a little bit older than me. His idea of a Valentine was a blow-job request. AWESOME.
Early in High School, Valentine's Day was not a big deal one way or the other to me, but for the last few years I have had a boyfriend. I cannot recall one of those three Valentine's Day that was special. Each year it was like any other day. I think I may have been taken to dinner, but not anything really special. I was never even given a single CARD. I know I was preaching earlier about how consumers enable card companies to make massive amounts of money each February, okay. Gifts are totally NOT big deals to me like they are to some girls. But a card? They cost less than $3-- or even make one like my special ed. admirer did! It just shows that you are putting a LITTLE more thought into someone than you usually do.
My outlook for February 14th, 2009 is that I will spend it snuggling with my dog with Faith Hill's "Like We Never Loved at All" on repeat, eating whatever candy my MOM gives me. HAHA. I actually think I've made plans with a few people to go dancing in Seattle, but that is what I would be doing if I were alone. And you know what, I bet it would kick every Valentine's Day I spent with anyone else's ASS!
Perhaps I will one day have an extraordinary Valentine's Day that will reverse my current bitter opinion, but until then...
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