JSKHGLKHA

I have been in this agitated, bored, irritable mindset since I woke up Monday morning. I can't shake it as easily as usual. I'm letting something get to me... but what?!

I am generally positive, and when I think something negative I usually catch myself and quickly reverse my mindset. But something about these last couple days--everything is driving me insane.

The baby is annoying as FUCK. I feel like it is probably some kind of heinous sin to use something as pure as "baby" and derogatory as "fuck" in the same sentence. Regardless, this baby I watch is sick CONSTANTLY. He won't sleep, eat, or play; so all he does is shit, cry, and drool all over my clothing. 

I'm hideous. Seriously, the last two days I have looked like hell.

Packing is slowly killing me. I just want to tear apart all the boxes and kick my shit all over the room.

I am snapping at my family & I want to strangle my brother for being such an 18 year old douche-bag. 

I'm irritated at all my flakey friends and I want to call them out on things that I usually just let go of. 

The worst part is that I've noticed that all of my emotions have been based on anger. Which, if I want to take that even further, is essentially fear. But I cannot figure out WHAT I am so fearful of/angry toward that I am letting it effect me so greatly. 

I'm healthy [despite being stuck with a sick baby]

I have everything I need [but could always use more moo-la...]

I am succeeding at school and at dental training

I have a job [that alone is something to be VERY grateful for]

I'm finally almost fully recovered from my recent dabble in heartbreak

...that leaves me with.... fear in general. I must just be letting the fear of the unknown and the desire to control my "now" and my future get to me.  I'm not just gonna stand by and say "Well I'm just having one of those weeks--the kind where everything is shitty and hopeless."

I'm going to fix it. I am letting go of my desire to control and my fear of the unknown RIGHT THIS INSTANT. 

One thing that will make me feel better, it's TUESDAY!

Tuesday means HugNation @ 1! What is HugNation, you ask? It is a live global Hug, bringing people together!

You think that sounds crazy? Well check it out for yourself;

[[HUG]].